Special Report: Ilagan's Contract-Garage and the Current State of Your McWailers by Bobby Barnwell

There’s much hub-bub around the Charleston Law League Water-Coolers today about the current slide the McWailers are on (having dropped three games in a row) and the amount of money head-coach Donn (with 2 “N”s) Ilagan was getting paid for his contract. I spoke with McWailers GM/Co-Captain Jim Trabert about Ilagan’s contract and if perhaps the fans aren’t getting what they wanted. Here’s a portion of our conversation:

BB: A lot of the fans are complaining that your Skipper Donn Ilagan is paid too
much for the McWailers to have a losing season.

JET: Is there a
question here? Or are you just trying to lament about something you know nothing
about? Look, Donn makes a fair and modest income for his services with the team;
we worked out a deal with Borass (Scotty Borass-Donn’s agent, not to be confused
with the other Scott Boras-the big league agent) and Donn which we all thought
was fair. As for the fans, they need to understand something about law league
softball, it takes time for a team, especially one as unique as this one to come
together and besides the McWailers have lost to some tough opponents on the
front end of the season. Be patient, Donn will look like a genius by the end of
the season.

BB: So what about the reports that Donn was playing
with a football at the last game.

JET: (Deleted Expletive)
Bloggers, they are making this into much more than it is. It is only natural (to
want) to throw a football when you are playing on a converted football field.
Ask anyone that used to play at old Candlestick Park, they will tell you; the
desire to throw or catch a football is unmatched-look at Bo
Jackson.

BB: What does Bo Jackson have to do with
this?

JET: Exactly, you don’t know Bo. And since I know, that you
don’t know what I know, I know that you don’t know Bo. Now get out of my office
this interview is over.

BB: But I have more questions.

JET: I am sure you do. Why don’t you go talk to Donn, he has today
off.

Garage Mahal

So I took Trabert’s advice and just like Kenny Rogers (when he rocked, way before he did “Islands in the Stream”), I decided to “just check in to see what condition my condition was in” and to get to the bottom of this. With an undisclosed figure and contract we have no idea how much Donn Ilagan is making, but just how modestly is Ilagan living? Check out this picture I surreptitiously took with my Crackberry as I walked up the drive to his house. My editor made me block out the plates but I want all of the fans out there to know, Donn Ilagan has a 2 Ferrari garage. And Jim Trabert has the nerve to call this modesty. I am not sure what I call it but it is not modesty. And if Skipper Don Ilagan doesn’t turn the McWailers around soon, I doubt he will be able to maintain this “modest” lifestyle.

The McWailers have a chance to prove themselves tomorrow evening against the Fighting Fabers, so we'll see what Donn "Modest-Mouse" Ilagan has up his sleeve.