The Mighty McNair Machine

McNair played a great game against the #1 team in the league, the Usual Suspects, losing by 8 runs 20 to 12. Although we lost, I count this game as strong showing of our ability to come together as a team. We showcased an outstanding display of effort and never gave up. Considering the Usual Suspects are number one in the league and that they usually beat their opponents by at least by 14 runs, I think 8 runs is respectable. Especially when you take into account that they won last night's game more with luck than they did with skill.

Our final game for the season is against the Public Defenders @ Orange Grove next Wednesday (August 2). Our record is 5-5, so we pretty much have to win in order to be considered for the playoffs. Good job team, and thank you to all the fans for coming out last night.

HEY TONY!

How did a one time performance earn MAS the third position on the league hitting record? It seems Seekings is showing favor somewhere..Hey Fah-get-ahh-bout-it. Capisci...Congrats MAS
Go Mighty McNair!

McNair defeats Finkel & Alman 15-13

F & A man, F & A...Bobo and I were lamenting about the similarities between the Bravos and the Machine last month. That being said, it appears the Braves turned things around since the All-Star break and so has the Big Green Machine! The Machine continued their win streak marking their third straight win last week against the Flaming Fabers of Finkel & Altman.

Much to the skipper's dismay, Buck-Nasty and Molly McGee were running late-way late. But Bucky flagged a diesel down just before the rain and they rode it all the way to New Orleans, windshield wipers flashing time...sorry, tunes in the background while I write. I digress; evidently I need to speak to McTighbrenner about getting our ringers to the park because if the Red Sox can bring Doug Miravelli to Fenway on a state sponsored 70 mph escort, then so should the Machine. But don't worry Machine faithful, Bucky will ride shotgun in the Volvo for the remainder of the season.

Game Time
I am not sure what it is about hearing those fine words, "We're just out here to have fun and play an honest game" but for some reason (ask Donn @ B-W) it is the setup for somebody about to pull wool and some serious shiesty crap against the Machine. We lost the flip, but we seem to always win as visitors, so it didn't matter anyway. The game went as planned. I knew we'd have to give them one call, despite minor objections from Mr. Dependable, and we'd get a close call later in the game. The Flamin Fabers weren't giving us an inch when it came to close calls, but that as it seems was their own ignorance, because they say, "you don't tug on Superman's cape. You walk into the screen. You don't pull the mask of the old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with the Machine. A do, do-do-dah, dee-dee, a dee-o-dee." I really need to turn off the iTunes when writing these things. This is Zen recapping here people so what is written shall stand. Despite having a Hoss hitting first baseman, err, person, and a zeal for theatrics (and tantrums), the Flammin Flamers were no match for the Machine.
First Inning
Capers started the party with a lead off single, Mr. Dependable followed with another single, JOHN-E ROSEN! Byahhh!!! Popped the top on our first home-run earning 2nd this year and two more RBIs. Jay-Bird popped out and Big Daddy Warren followed with a double. Two-Can Coats singled, and Bobo followed with a fielder's choice. Primo-Donna would be our last out for the inning with a close throw out at first. F&A matched the Machines runs with three of their own.
Second Inning
JET started things off with what could have been a double until that degenerate gambler went for third. As Mamma Jo said, "Vegas baby Vegas!" Golden Graham had an excellent hit up the middle for a single. Camo-Cameron hit a very diplomatic single into right field. Buck-Nasty hit a double, but darkened the next circle after his two RBIs. The Caped One and Mr. Dependable both singled, but Rosen's blast was snagged by F&A for the third out. F&A would match the Machine once again scoring two, making it a 5 all-tie game.
Third Inning
Jay-Bird led off the inning with an in the park homer. However this highlight was taken away after F&A's firstbaseperson matched his hitting skills, putting one to the back of the fence in right field. Joel's single would be for naught after a 6-4-3 double play off of Corbett's smack. Bobo would single again, but their short-out would pick off Cid's hit stopping the Machine with only one run for the inning. F&A would add two runs to take the lead at the end of the inning.
Fourth Inning
An unfortunate 3 up, 3 down. F&A would add 3 runs to take the lead 10 to 6.
Fifth Inning
Buck-Nasty went yard. Mr. Dependable Brett Bluestein, Jay-Bird and Joel would put runs on the board before a distracted 3rd baseman would tag out Two-Cans Corbett in the hot corner for the last out on a Primo-Donna's fielder's choice. Adding 4 runs to the board put McNair within 3 after F&A added three more to their tab, score 10 to 13 F&A.
Sixth Inning
Vegas Baby Vegas! Vegas finally beat the house hitting a double, followed by Golden Graham's single, RBI with Cameron following with another single. The mighty Case-Nasty hit a foul, a new ball from the bucket went foul too. Would he strike out? Forget that we have to argue an illegal ball issue with F&A. Not only are these guys trying to screw us around every corner, but they are inspecting our balls too. Give me a break. Buck-Nasty went wild, tightened his velcro Nancys and what's that? The Zippo signal from the owner Tom McTighbrenner. Burn it Bucky! Bucky hit his 5th homer for the season, giving the kids at the Palms Apartments a souvenir. Bucky hit the third homer for the game on a legit ball and F&A cried foul. The Machine added 3 more and blanked the Flamers to tie the game at 13.
Seventh Inning
JOHN-E-ROSEN! doubled, Jay-Bird popped out, but Joel picked him up with another double bringing home Rosie for another RBI. Corbett hit a great shot up the middle and Bobo followed with another single, RBI. Christina hit into a 1-3 out. And with green jerseys on 3rd & 2nd, Vegas' luck would run out as he was thrown out at first on a close 6-3 snipe. Sorry Capers, you thought JET could beat the throw, but the House always wins when your luck runs out. After scoring 2 runs and taking the lead, all McNair had to do was hold on and get three more outs. Two-Can Coats was positioned perfectly to snag the first out. Cameron was dead on Dillinger to snag the second out and as poetic as one could write the ending, their 3rd baseman was thrown out by the same close throw as JET. Sorry F& A folks no time to object to this one. We've given you enough, you are not getting this one. Besides, we've already rushed the field to celebrate. F&A man, F&A!

Next game tomorrow against the Usual Suspects. T-Walker chatted with Don Michel-eone and they are scared because they know how livid we are about being out at the Navy Base all season. And they say, "you don't tug on Superman's cape. You walk into the screen. You don't pull the mask of the old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with the Machine. A do, do-do-dah, dee-dee, a dee-o-dee."

Go Mighty McNair! (Photo compliments of Movie Gazette)

2006 Schedule & Results

5/11	MLF v Pierce, Herns	Parkshore	Win
5/18	MLF v Moore/Turner	Naval Base	Win
5/25	MLF v Nelson, Mullins	Naval Base	Lost
7/10	MLF v Barnwell, Whaley	Naval Base	Win
6/14	MLF v Motley, Rice	Parkshore	Lost
6/20	MLF v Outlaws	Naval Base	Lost
6/29	MLF v Rosen	Naval Base	Lost
7/12	MLF v Parker, Poe/Carlock	Orange Grove	Win
7/20	MLF v Finkel & Altman	Orange Grove	Win
7/27	MLF v Usual Suspects	Orange Grove	Thurs
8/2	MLF v Public Defenders	Orange Grove	Wed

The Mighty McNair Machine

Congratulations to the members of the McNair Machine softball team for winning their 3rd straight game last night! McNair beat the “Flaming Fabers” of Finkel & Altman 15 to 13. Our record is now 5-4, playoff bound with two games left in the season. Congratulations to Buck-Nancy for hitting his 4th and 5th home-runs of the season. And a special thanks to Johhny Rosen! for getting things started by hitting his second homer of the season last night.

Next Game: the Machine will play Keyser Sosa and the Usual Suspects next Thursday (July 27th). Having defeated such teams as “the Legal Defense of the Sisters of the Poor”, “the Drummer from Def-Leopard Look-a-Like Lawyers” and “the Ladies Auxiliary Balloon Club Lawyers” Commissioner Seekings’ Usual Suspects are currently 9-0. The word on the street is they are seriously scared to play us because Seekings knows how pissed I am that he scheduled us at the Navy Base for most of the season.

(I’ll drop a full recap this weekend)

The Machine is on a two game win streak!

McNair Law Firm defeated Parker Poe 11 to 5 with P-P scoring 4 of their runs in the 5th and 6th innings. McNair plays next week against Finkel & Altman @ Orange Grove. Stay tuned for more information in the next recap.

Go Mighty McNair!

McNair Wins Against Barnwell-Whaley 29 to 7, Game Re-Cap

After suffering 4 straight losses, the Machine had their backs against the wall--with morale lower than President Bush’s approval rating--it was up to Captain JET (with a little help from General Patton) to pull the team out of their slump and get the wheels of the Machine rolling again with a motivating e-mail. Captain JET was faced with two dilemmas before penning his “get one for the Gipper” e-mail: 1) how do we crank up our esprit de corps? 2) How does this team regain its’ confidence or should I say how can the Machine get their groove back?

Strategery: Jet called two of his pals Nigel and Stella to see what it would take to get our groove back. Stella said, “Just have fun!” And Nigel said, “Turn the volume on the amp up to 11!” If it takes winning for McNair to have fun, so be it. Turn the amp up to 11 and let’s have some fun or as our Hurricane Katrina “refugee-law clerk”, Elizabeth Roche used to say, “laissez bon temps d’ roullez!” (Let the good times roll!)

1st Inning: Barnwell Whaley scored one run in the first, and McNair answered with doubles from Buck-Nancy, “Mr. Dependable” Brett and Jay-Bird scoring three runs in the first inning.

2nd Inning: B-W added another run in the second, but Johnny Rosen tripled to lead off our second inning six-pack. Afterburner Turner hit Rosie in for his first of 3 RBIs followed with a single by Mamma Jo, and a solid attempt by Little Red Riding Hood. The Caped-Crusader shoveled in some coal to build up steam in the engine with two outs. Buck-Nancy added fuel to the fire, going long with an in the park home run, and his first of three RBIs. Mr. Dependable followed with a single and Jay-Bird landed on third to bring Brett home. Brad followed with a single, as did Primo-Davis, but Brad was caught with his hand in the 3rd base cookie jar for the third out. (Full disclosure: Christina was not happy about Brad stealing her thunder, and when Christanka ain’t happy, well let’s just say, things aren’t good for anyone not wearing a green jersey.)

3rd Inning: The Machine blanked B-W in the third, and JET led off with a double. Rosie hit a perfect line drive double to bring home JET for his first of three RBIs. Turner turned on the afterburners to leg out a single, and then score off of Capers’ next at bat. Mamma Jo did a commando roll over first base, but was thrown out and left with nothing but strawberries and road rash. (Btw, at the Palmetto Grill today along with Martha’s Fried Chicken they will serve strawberries and road rash ice-cream in honor of Jo-Jo’s effort). Buck-Nancy hit his first triple, followed with a double by Mr. Dependable. Jay-Bird went yard for his first homer at the Navy Base and Brad ended the inning with a pop-out.

4th Inning: B-W added one more run at the top of the fourth. Primo-Davis unleashed her aforementioned displeasure with a stinging single, JET followed with a single, and Johnny Rosen earned his last two RBIs from a deep ball that landed him at third. Turner hit a single, but was caught out in a double play. Little Red Riding Hood made contact but was out before she touched the first base bag-it was a photo finish I promise, but we were up 19 to 3, so I opted out of the argument.

5th Inning: B-W was blanked once again with only 3-runs on the board. The Machine had the “top o’the order to ya” to start the punishment once again. After substitutions, the name of the game was 5-run stud as the Machine added 5 runs off of the bats of Buck-Nancy, Mr. Dependable, Jay-Bird, Christina and Tom McTighbrenner. MC Hammer was left on base after a strong effort from our clean-up crew of Jo-Jo and Little Red Linds.

6th Inning: Once again, no runs scored for B-W and they had to face the top of the order for McNair. The Caped One was faster than a speeding bullet after hitting a single and kicking things into overdrive to come in on Buck-Nancy’s single. Earned RBI? Hmmm, Frito-Bandito-Janito runs the book and that’s how she scored it folks. I digress; the Machine had singles in spades as we turned down the heat on the burner. That’s a class act if you ask this reporter. Instead of trying to humiliate Barnwell-Whaley, sans Motley Rice, Rosen, and the likes, we jogged to the bases, and gave Barnstormers a chance to keep things respectable. In the single club in the 6th, are Capers (actually off the market), Bucky (kind of sorta off the market), Brett (ladies, he’s a Pisces who enjoys fast cars, windsurfing, and long walks on the beach.) Jay-Bird (recently taken off the market), Bradford (on the market-not so much), Christina (on the “diamond” market-get it, diamond-never mind). Tom hit a legit sacrifice flY and our second commando roll of the evening at first scoring Primo-Davis’. MC Hammer was our final out of the inning with an unusual pop-fly.

7th Inning: Barnwell-Whaley put up a strong last ditch effort to make things respectable scoring 4 runs as the fat lady began to sing. The Hammer “rear-ended” a throw from second to Tom (who played a mean first base, despite having not played said position since pre-Morris, Duffy, Boone days.) for the final out. The Machine lined-up for well wishing and libations to celebrate our victory!

Dugout: Tour de Force: Give a yellow jersey to both Bucky and Jay for hitting cycles (single, double, triple and a home-run). South-Paw Action: Jay had one of his triples batting left-handed and Brad had two singles from the left side of the plate as well. Double-Trouble: Bucky converted two double plays with his patented “cock, step and fire” from short. Congratulations guys! That was one heck of a team effort if you ask this reporter, and I am glad to see McNair is out there having fun once again.

The Machine notched a third victory on our belt defeating Barnwell Whaley 29 to 7. McNair’s next game is Wednesday at Orange Grove Park against Parker Poe.

*Special thanks to the folks at Fisharepeopletoo for the Spinal Tap Amp picture.

Go Mighty McNair!

King George!

The Machine's very own, George Morrison is leading the league with his 1.000 batting average! Batting a 0.889 average Joe Semsar is 2nd, followed by Aaron Stockhausen batting an 0.857 average. Good job George!

Go Mighty McNair!

Photo compliments of McNair

McNair defeated Barnwell Whaley last night!

I would like to congratulate the team for a great performance last night! Everyone played above and beyond my expectations and as the team captain, I was glad to see everyone having fun once again. You could say our team has their confidence back! The final score against Barnwell Whaley was 29 to 7 (with BW scoring 4 of their runs in the 7th inning). Congratulations team!

Our next game is tomorrow against Parker Poe @ Orange Grove field. Please e-mail me if you can make it. Thanks, JET

I'll post a write-up tonight!
Go Mighty McNair!

League Standings as of July 11, 2006

Usual Suspects	8	8	0	0	16
Rosen	7	7	0	0	14
Nexsen, Pruet WOMP	8	6	2	0	12
Solicitors	7	5	2	0	10
Nelson, Mullins	6	4	2	0	8
Motley, Rice	7	4	3	0	8
Outlaws	7	4	3	0	8
Barnwell, Whaley	7	3	3	1	7
The McNair Machine	8	3	4	1	7
Buist, Moore	6	3	3	0	6
Finkel & Altman	6	3	3	0	6
Pierce, Herns	6	3	3	0	6
Public Defenders	7	3	4	0	6
Haynsworth	7	2	5	0	4
Good, Bad & Ugly	6	1	5	0	2
Parker, Poe/Carlock	6	1	5	0	2
Young, Clement	6	0	6	0	0
Moore/Turner	7	0	7	0	0

Team GP/ W/ L/ T/ PTS

Next Weeks Games, Fo shizzle, McNizzle!

We will play two games next week. Monday (July 10) @ the Navy Base we play Barnwell, Whaley. Wednesday (July 12) we play Parker, Poe Carlock @ Orange Grove. As you will notice below we stand an excellent chance of winning both games, and we are still (legitimately) in the running for the play-offs. (The bottom 2 teams of each division stay home.) I believe now is the time to pick our game back up where we started earlier this season. There is no reason our confidence should falter just because we make a few errors or a couple of our players (Joel or Corbett) are not on the field, it takes a team to win and this team can win! Every game that we lost was against a strong opponent who hit the ball well and unfortunately we did not respond by playing to our potential. Part of the reason we've dropped a few is my fault as a coach and I am going to do my best to stay positive, have a strong line-up, and keep everyone motivated.

We have the opportunity to win at least 4 of our next 5 games and we will enter the playoffs with a winning record. Monday is our last game at the Navy Base. Our final 4 games will be at the Orange Grove (hitter friendly) Park! Tom McTighbrenner pulled Corbett out of the European League and she will return next week. Finally, I don't want you to think that I am only stressing winning, because I am not. I want the focus to be on having fun! The thing is with the McNair Team, we only have fun when we win. So go out there and have fun these last 5 games of our regular season, let's make the playoffs, and let's have some fun.
Go Mc Nair! Or as Maggie said on Z-93 Jamz this morning, "Fo' Shizzle, McNizzle"!

SOUTH DIVISION NORTH DIVISION
1) Usual Suspects 7-0 1) Rosen 7-0
2) Nexsen 5-2 2) Nelson Mullins 4-2
3) Solicitors 5-2 3) Outlaws 4-2
4) Buist Moore 3-3 4) Motley 4-3
5) Finkel 3-3 5) Barnwell 3-2
6) P.D.s 3-4 6) Pierce Herns 3-3
7) Haynsworth 2-4 7) McNair 2-4
8) Good/Bad 1-5 8) Parker/Carlock 1-5
9) Youn Clement 0-6 9) MVA/Turner 0-7

Photo compliments of Oscar.org, please visit their site to show your support.
Go Mighty McNair!