After suffering 4 straight losses, the Machine had their backs against the wall--with morale lower than President Bush’s approval rating--it was up to Captain JET (with a little help from General Patton) to pull the team out of their slump and get the wheels of the Machine rolling again with a motivating e-mail. Captain JET was faced with two dilemmas before penning his “get one for the Gipper” e-mail: 1) how do we crank up our esprit de corps? 2) How does this team regain its’ confidence or should I say how can the Machine get their groove back?
Strategery: Jet called two of his pals Nigel and Stella to see what it would take to get our groove back. Stella said, “Just have fun!” And Nigel said, “Turn the volume on the amp up to 11!” If it takes winning for McNair to have fun, so be it. Turn the amp up to 11 and let’s have some fun or as our Hurricane Katrina “refugee-law clerk”, Elizabeth Roche used to say, “
laissez bon temps d’ roullez!” (Let the good times roll!)
1st Inning: Barnwell Whaley scored one run in the first, and McNair answered with doubles from Buck-Nancy, “Mr. Dependable” Brett and Jay-Bird scoring three runs in the first inning.
2nd Inning: B-W added another run in the second, but Johnny Rosen tripled to lead off our second inning six-pack. Afterburner Turner hit Rosie in for his first of 3 RBIs followed with a single by Mamma Jo, and a solid attempt by Little Red Riding Hood. The Caped-Crusader shoveled in some coal to build up steam in the engine with two outs. Buck-Nancy added fuel to the fire, going long with an in the park home run, and his first of three RBIs. Mr. Dependable followed with a single and Jay-Bird landed on third to bring Brett home. Brad followed with a single, as did Primo-Davis, but Brad was caught with his hand in the 3rd base cookie jar for the third out. (Full disclosure: Christina was not happy about Brad stealing her thunder, and when Christanka ain’t happy, well let’s just say, things aren’t good for anyone not wearing a green jersey.)
3rd Inning: The Machine blanked B-W in the third, and JET led off with a double. Rosie hit a perfect line drive double to bring home JET for his first of three RBIs. Turner turned on the afterburners to leg out a single, and then score off of Capers’ next at bat. Mamma Jo did a commando roll over first base, but was thrown out and left with nothing but strawberries and road rash. (Btw, at the Palmetto Grill today along with Martha’s Fried Chicken they will serve strawberries and road rash ice-cream in honor of Jo-Jo’s effort). Buck-Nancy hit his first triple, followed with a double by Mr. Dependable. Jay-Bird went yard for his first homer at the Navy Base and Brad ended the inning with a pop-out.
4th Inning: B-W added one more run at the top of the fourth. Primo-Davis unleashed her aforementioned displeasure with a stinging single, JET followed with a single, and Johnny Rosen earned his last two RBIs from a deep ball that landed him at third. Turner hit a single, but was caught out in a double play. Little Red Riding Hood made contact but was out before she touched the first base bag-it was a photo finish I promise, but we were up 19 to 3, so I opted out of the argument.
5th Inning: B-W was blanked once again with only 3-runs on the board. The Machine had the “top o’the order to ya” to start the punishment once again. After substitutions, the name of the game was 5-run stud as the Machine added 5 runs off of the bats of Buck-Nancy, Mr. Dependable, Jay-Bird, Christina and Tom McTighbrenner. MC Hammer was left on base after a strong effort from our clean-up crew of Jo-Jo and Little Red Linds.
6th Inning: Once again, no runs scored for B-W and they had to face the top of the order for McNair. The Caped One was faster than a speeding bullet after hitting a single and kicking things into overdrive to come in on Buck-Nancy’s single. Earned RBI? Hmmm, Frito-Bandito-Janito runs the book and that’s how she scored it folks. I digress; the Machine had singles in spades as we turned down the heat on the burner. That’s a class act if you ask this reporter. Instead of trying to humiliate Barnwell-Whaley, sans Motley Rice, Rosen, and the likes, we jogged to the bases, and gave Barnstormers a chance to keep things respectable. In the single club in the 6th, are Capers (actually off the market), Bucky (kind of sorta off the market), Brett (ladies, he’s a Pisces who enjoys fast cars, windsurfing, and long walks on the beach.) Jay-Bird (recently taken off the market), Bradford (on the market-not so much), Christina (on the “diamond” market-get it, diamond-never mind). Tom hit a legit sacrifice flY and our second commando roll of the evening at first scoring Primo-Davis’. MC Hammer was our final out of the inning with an unusual pop-fly.
7th Inning: Barnwell-Whaley put up a strong last ditch effort to make things respectable scoring 4 runs as the fat lady began to sing. The Hammer “rear-ended” a throw from second to Tom (who played a mean first base, despite having not played said position since pre-Morris, Duffy, Boone days.) for the final out. The Machine lined-up for well wishing and libations to celebrate our victory!
Dugout: Tour de Force: Give a yellow jersey to both Bucky and Jay for hitting cycles (single, double, triple and a home-run).
South-Paw Action: Jay had one of his triples batting left-handed and Brad had two singles from the left side of the plate as well.
Double-Trouble: Bucky converted two double plays with his patented “cock, step and fire” from short. Congratulations guys! That was one heck of a team effort if you ask this reporter, and I am glad to see McNair is out there having fun once again.
The Machine notched a third victory on our belt defeating Barnwell Whaley 29 to 7. McNair’s next game is Wednesday at Orange Grove Park against Parker Poe.*Special thanks to the folks at
Fisharepeopletoo for the Spinal Tap Amp picture.
Go Mighty McNair!
