Special Report: Ilagan's Contract-Garage and the Current State of Your McWailers by Bobby Barnwell

There’s much hub-bub around the Charleston Law League Water-Coolers today about the current slide the McWailers are on (having dropped three games in a row) and the amount of money head-coach Donn (with 2 “N”s) Ilagan was getting paid for his contract. I spoke with McWailers GM/Co-Captain Jim Trabert about Ilagan’s contract and if perhaps the fans aren’t getting what they wanted. Here’s a portion of our conversation:

BB: A lot of the fans are complaining that your Skipper Donn Ilagan is paid too
much for the McWailers to have a losing season.

JET: Is there a
question here? Or are you just trying to lament about something you know nothing
about? Look, Donn makes a fair and modest income for his services with the team;
we worked out a deal with Borass (Scotty Borass-Donn’s agent, not to be confused
with the other Scott Boras-the big league agent) and Donn which we all thought
was fair. As for the fans, they need to understand something about law league
softball, it takes time for a team, especially one as unique as this one to come
together and besides the McWailers have lost to some tough opponents on the
front end of the season. Be patient, Donn will look like a genius by the end of
the season.

BB: So what about the reports that Donn was playing
with a football at the last game.

JET: (Deleted Expletive)
Bloggers, they are making this into much more than it is. It is only natural (to
want) to throw a football when you are playing on a converted football field.
Ask anyone that used to play at old Candlestick Park, they will tell you; the
desire to throw or catch a football is unmatched-look at Bo
Jackson.

BB: What does Bo Jackson have to do with
this?

JET: Exactly, you don’t know Bo. And since I know, that you
don’t know what I know, I know that you don’t know Bo. Now get out of my office
this interview is over.

BB: But I have more questions.

JET: I am sure you do. Why don’t you go talk to Donn, he has today
off.

Garage Mahal

So I took Trabert’s advice and just like Kenny Rogers (when he rocked, way before he did “Islands in the Stream”), I decided to “just check in to see what condition my condition was in” and to get to the bottom of this. With an undisclosed figure and contract we have no idea how much Donn Ilagan is making, but just how modestly is Ilagan living? Check out this picture I surreptitiously took with my Crackberry as I walked up the drive to his house. My editor made me block out the plates but I want all of the fans out there to know, Donn Ilagan has a 2 Ferrari garage. And Jim Trabert has the nerve to call this modesty. I am not sure what I call it but it is not modesty. And if Skipper Don Ilagan doesn’t turn the McWailers around soon, I doubt he will be able to maintain this “modest” lifestyle.

The McWailers have a chance to prove themselves tomorrow evening against the Fighting Fabers, so we'll see what Donn "Modest-Mouse" Ilagan has up his sleeve.

Turn It Up to 11 People!!!...The Machine Joins Forces With The Lions!!!

The 2009 Season is upon us. As those of you who’ve played in past seasons know, due to schedule conflicts: people getting married, having kids, vacationing and some of our team-members deciding to stay late and practice law from time to time, we’ve had a few nail-biters when it came to meeting the quota to field a team. At the end of last season, I spoke with Donn Ilagan @ Barnwell-Whaley about possibly merging our two teams. Despite our original request to merge being shot down by the SEE(kings), the Commish finally decided to let our two teams join forces, so this season Team McNair, (aka: the Mighty Machine) will be under the McWhaley name (Seekings came up with the name, not us).*

As with any merger, there will be some growing pains and feelings of anticipation on what role you will have in the new system but trust me, Donn & I will be as fair as possible. It has always been a balancing act with the attorney-ladies-and list of other (non-attorney) guys who want to play but Donn and I are pretty smart guys, so we will be able to get a squad that both teams would be proud of to take the field. And if you feel that you are getting enough playing time, by all means, let us know-Donn is a really nice guy and he would be glad to listen and explain the strategy or fix whatever is the problem. All in all, I think this will be a good thing. It gets hot here in the summers and I am sure most of us would love to have a sub go in for us, so we could enjoy the game.

Our first game is this Thursday, @ the Navy Base, against the Good, Bad & Ugly (6:30 pm). See Donn’s comments below.

Good luck this season everyone.
–Jim Trabert

*Personally, I preferred the McWailers named after the band created in 1974 by the father of Irish Reggae music, Bob McMarley after Peter McTosh & Bunny McWailer left the precursor band Donald-Nesta-Willy & the Duffs. (Sorry to anyone who is offended that I just-falsely-rewrote both Irish and Jamaican (musical) history).

A Message From Donn "the Spaniard"-El Co Capatain!

It's time to dust off the cleats and cork the bats. Charleston Lawyer's League Softball is starting. This year, BWPH [Lions] joined forces with The McNair Law Firm [The Mighty McNair Machine] so we should always have enough people for our games. McWhaley's (Seekings gave us that name) first game is Thursday, 5/21 at the Navy Base against The Good, Bad & Ugly. I think that's Clawson & Staubes.

Game time is 6:30. McWhaley sounds too much like a McDonald's fast food item. I think I will just call us the Lion Machine. Please let me know if you can play in the is game. Thanks! Donn